+_+

Had 2 awesome days of my life...

Yesterday my extended family gave me a surprise party...at that time i really don't know how to react.... This is the first time i got a surprise from my friend.... Usually i so-called celebrate with my family? Which is so damn boring n pointless i guess? Didn't believe that my extended family would stay back to celebrate with me...their class ends at 3.15 i guess? and they waited until my class end... Words cant describe my feeling... Brenda tweeted that i got no reaction....haha...its because i tak tau how to react...takkan want me cry right? :P One friend even went to pyramid today just to buy me a slice of cake...which i really didnt expect.... The cakes that i eat this year has more meaning and are the best cake that i've ever tasted

After that went home n stone... After dinner...randomly my mom asked why today so late go home.... I said celebrate birthday la...she asked why your friends so many birthday 1....HELLO...there's no rule saying that my friends cant have many birthdays....zzz... Then i told her its my birthday celebration...zzz...And she said that i keep go out la this la that la... And said i cannot go out already....i was like wtf...so now you're reducing the times i spent with my friends? This freaking timetable is already crappy enough...and now i cant go on outings? Eff.... You can do anything to me...but don't do things that relate to my friends...you involve them...you die... After that was damn pissed...so wanted to use the laptop.... My mom was holding it since she just finished using and was watching TV... I went and take the laptop...she dun wan give...she pull back... So i just pull la from her....don't need give face to her 1.... She dominate too much already.... So i just pulled...and walk up straight to my room.... In your face ! Later chat with eric about it...he said that i still can put smiley face even when i m pissed...:)

I m glad that I always have my awesome friends with me.... When i m down...they will always be there for me.... ( ok seriously i m bad in acting....saw something on facebook and now i no mood to blog already)

I think i should learn william though....He have a headphone over his head everytime....and listens to emo songs when he is emo....At least for that few minutes he is in his own world... For me...only rap or rnb music can take her off my mind for a while... Everytime thought of her...my mood really can change 360 degree... Until i put on my headphone only she will be off my mind.... My friends call me to do some other things to get her off my mind... If i can i early already do la.... :) But i know that this method only can be used temporary....it can be used forever...i still need to find a solution to get my ass out of this shit....

cant wait for my hair to grow long...gonna do something new to my head...gonna make a big difference in my life

I m bad at lying...its too hard to tell a lie that you're ok when you're not....:)

BTW..thanks to all who wished me...:)

Peace out

zzzz life

Made a video about the times we had as an extended family...Well...the xpiry date is gonna be in another 10 more weeks or less? Then we will all be separated.... Making the video....even the computer so beh song me...so many technical problems...Until i have to find other alternative ways to finish the video...At this kind of time...Windows...Seriously? Do you hate me so much... Is the video nice? Because of this video making...duno i emo for how many days already... Finding pics is easier than putting all the pictures together... Blindly looking at the fun times we had...knowing its gonna end soon...and i can't do anything about it..sucks! For the third semester...i scared later while i m doing the vid i will cut myself n die in front of the computer...LOL

This is the vid i made...enjoy

The day before i take the timetable...seriously prayed to god that i get a nice nice timetable...but when i got the timetable...WTH man...zzzz....Thanks god..thanks.....Start the third sem for a few days and i feel that it sucks already... How m i gonna continue for the whole semester? Thanks to my computer science subject...now seriously is 100% separated from my friends... I think...well nvm ba...its already so dead...i cant change anything... Haiz...the first class in malaysian studies...already have an asshole lecturer...zzz...first day he already made me bom him in front of so many ppl... He suggested that our class go on lawatan sambil belajar...thats what made me f-ing pissed...I told him that whats the fucking point of going if all of us will be in our own gangs....We wont socialize at all...ZZZ.....Ever since I took my timetable...like everything goes so not according to plan... Everything is like going against me...WTH man..gime a break! In class is like freaking #foreveralone man... Now everyday in class...sit alone...you guys know how damn boring is it? Other people who say their class sucks! Think again man! WHOSE CLASS LAGI SUCK! I told my friend...at least you guys are in the same class together leh... He/She dun appriciate it! You guys come try being alone in 1 class lo....see whats the feeling...talk so much... Damn freaking sien...

Yesterday found out that i failed my maths...the feeling of fear is not there... Like in the first semester...i fail 1 subject...like very scared and nervous...but this semester...that feeling is gone already.... I dun feel scared no more... My feeling is like fail then fail lo...retake la.... I miss the feeling back in sem 1...at least i have a direction and know the fear of failing... This sem...haiz...not scared of failing already...There's no more common sense in me anymore...Can somebody know some sense out of me? I really like bo rasa already... Owh well...my timetable already suck this bad...what could be worst right? Add 1 more subject only ma... I think if i fail other subjects...i wun show any reaction already...Whats that to show? My mood already is like that...sien...

Now i understand why I m so afraid that i close my eyes today...and wont be able to open them up the next day...because i have my friends all...and the person i cherish...I wonder...if i didnt have them...i might lost interest in living... Maybe thats what that keeps me alive for so long...HMM...problems?

Imma failure...ZZZ

Peace out

ZZZ

Yesterday was the last day of our exam....finally relieved....had a great time with my friends... We watch some movie that i usually don't watch in cinema...well...this is the first time....No mood blog now man...but i've already started....

Sometimes, its better not to know so many things.... The

truth...that we all don't want to know...its always damn painful... Suddenly only today i knew something that can change me straight away... After knowing that issu

e...really no mood to do anything....but still...what i do is to "act" happy? Laughing is the best medicine right? Today all so happy....so didnt put on my emo mask today.... I've been keeping alot of masks in my pocket...and from time to time...i will change these masks... My mood depends on my mask... I think everybody out there has their own masks.... Just i think my collection of masks is more than others? What are masks for? They are for hiding all my flaws i can say? With these masks....people can't really know what am i thinking of... Which is good...because i can be unpredictable... What for being predictable? Its so boring... But if i can find someone that really understands me more than myself...I would thank god for th

at... One that can see through my masks and know who am I.... But i guess this day won't come? Previously saw the video about the end of the world... Which made me appreciate my friends more....

Its the end of semester 2....gonna start my video making... well..after this video...i only have the chance to make 1 more video...and thats it...We all go our separate ways... Maybe we won't even see each other anymore...but we can still communicate through facebook though... Just set a timing and we all can chat about our stuffs in our new envir

onment.... I wished i had more time.... In a few more months...i can't do anything for them anymore... Chit-chat....the most also few more months...and thats it... Lunch? dun think we will have lunch together when we are in degree programs... Had been

thinking of organizing a prom...but then....if me n my friends organize prom...we will be the organizer...and will be busy with our stuffs on the event day... We won't have time to sit down on the same table and chat,take pictures, laugh...you name it.... Thats the thing that is keeping me from organizing prom... It may be the last time we sit together and have dinner on the same table... I want to cherish all our memories...the memories we had....its what kept me from doing stupid things... My house=NOTHING... can i share problems with them? NO...can i chat with them? NO...do they have the same interest as me? NO...i guess i am like the teenager in I Not Stupid... He has 1 saying...which is something like...My house...from the outside...looks like it has everything....but the fact is....inside the house...is empty....Something like that...cant remember the details... To me...friends are like treasure to me...but sometimes i will do stupid things that offended them.... I won't feel comfortable after doing that... Althou

gh we dont have many pictures taken this sem...which is insufficient for the video making...but i will crack my brain and work something out...hope it surprises my friends...

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

Ok this part gets a bit idiotic....

How does lying on the hospital bed feels like? How does it feel when your friends visit you when you are lying on the hospital bed? Dammit man...these days really got that kind of feeling and thinking that i WANT to bang car... When emotionally unstable....i see one car in front...i wil think of banging the car straight away...and cause an accident to mys

elf... Special thanks to my dad man..seriously....zzzz....don't know what the fuck he wants...but its damn freaking shit! And my mom also...whats wrong with playing game huh? Got a freaking problem? You give me something to do at home la...if you don't want me play game.... What you guys normally do at home? socialize with family members right? You know how's my life? everyday reach home from college...go upstairs....sleep/play computer.... Dinner come down and eat early...coz i will be eating alone... Then finish eating i will go back to my room and chat with friends or something.... What a life i m having....its so freaking lifeless...i would tell myself many times to get a freaking life.... But what can i do? See parents....nothing to say.... And if got something to say...they sure relate the things that i said and shoot back to me... WTF.... Like today...i said that next semester com science class...lecturer will borrow us a tablet or ipad for the whole sem...to do programming... Then u know what my father thought of? He suddenly said..... I see u everytime use 2 phones a? Those big boss earning billion

s of dollars also din use 2 phones... I as a student using 2 phones? EH HELLO! USING 2 PHONES IS TO SAVE THE FREAKING COST LA! one to maxis one to digi...got wrong? The rate now all damn freaking high.... I use digi call maxis...you know how freaking xpensive? 36 sen per minute! From maxis to digi..33 sen per minute! WTF!!! Those freaking bosses earn damn freaking alot of money... so their phone bills are no feeling for them la! How much they use...they pay la! Eventhough its few hundred bucks...!!! CELAKA! I NEXT TIME GO EAT OR WHAT OUTING.... I WON'T SAY A WORD! JIBAI! SAY THING THEN KENA SHOOT BACK! I WON'T SAY ANYTHING NOW! HAPPY? Unless i need to inform u guys something only i talk...IF NOT I WON'T TALK! (Blog is the only place i can xpress my anger and hatred..hope you guys understand...its a way of talking to myself) *hint...have children when you and your partner's age is young...the older you have ur babies... When they grow u

p...there will be a miscommunication there...you won't be able to communicate with your children... Because the frequency is not the same......... Parents...if you cant say anything nice? dont say anything at all? Get it? Zzzzz

Well this post is a combination of 2 days...i didnt want to publish coz i got a feeling something idiotic might happen today....

And..i was freaking right... Woke up early in the morning and check my fb and twitter... Parents saw only i m awake...called me to go for breakfast...zzz... Obviously i don't wana go...go for what...eat? just dapao back for me lah...DUH... Or if duwan then i eat

myself la...go out with you guys....zzz... So go lo...buy the normal praying stuffs first...my mom call me to hold...i just turn away and say...you ownself duno how to hold a...ownself got 1 bag ad..zzz... And teaching us so many about recycling...dun use plastic bags... My mom buy shirt also wan put plastic bags...zzz...she already has the recycle bag and tom dick and harry has....why dun use? HUH? Know how to teach...but dun apply to yourself...You think we all will follow? zzzz.... After that went for breakfast at this restaurant...eat only lo....parents chat and i eat alone...minding my own business....Owh well...then reached home....i continue my computer...don't care what is happening downstairs...Owh ya...forgotten the biggest issue for da day... Special thanks to my parents...zzz.. During the breakfast...they were talking about buying a new car...i dun care la...duno is innova or camry....zzz... So they 2 talking about planning their financials...AND...suddenly my mom said..."cannot leh...also duno j

ian wei can go to university or not...later need spend money...." I was like wtf...which freaking parents said that in front of their children....ZZZ...what is duno whether i can go university or not... FUCK....go use ur fucking money....dun use it on my.... I rather work than use your money....dignity man! Owh ya...if u guys are trying to make me think? WELL....#FAIL! Idiotz.... Ownself dun let me work....still worry about your money? zzzz....you let me work la! i wun use your money from that day on...LAMER....

Feel like making scars on my arms with the kitchen knife... Just randomly had this vision that i will... If 1 day i get out of control or go mad or some shit...my friends should not be around me....i sked i do something stupid... Okay...my parents made me think of accidents....scars...cuts...what more can their actions make me think of doing? Impress me life....

If you hate your parents, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do. (FUCK YEAH)

Peace out!


#likeaboss