Sien

Sien....really damn sien...no life these days...finished the game my friend gave me... luckily manage to download nba 2k12...awesome game.... Now my blog topic ideas come from my daily driving...me driving alone..then can think of any blog topics..if not my blog will be so dead...

This world seriously change alot already....hmm...and its getting more complicated and complicated.... I just wished for a simple life....but i think that my wish wun come true...coz humans are unpredictable...they can do things that we can't imagine... Now do everything also need to becareful... I dont know la...i cant even reconize my real friends now...the ones that grew up with me...they can change in a split second... some aren't true friends anymore...sien lo....they had become friends-for-benefit... my primary school friends...some really change until i dun dare to imagine...looks like the the world is changing very fast and i m slacking behind... I m just too naive and simple minded...the things that i think of is for short-term...not long term....

Real friends are hard to get...and i know who la... i know la...some people...don't want to be themselves...when they want to know a new friend... They be the person that other people want them to be...not being theirselves....i see also sien...how can a human being be fake like this.... seriously.... You want people to be real to you...you must be real to themselves first ma... I see you want attention...Sien man... you got 1 true friend that is loyal to you...at least she is true...but you dump her and go with new friends.... I see also sien! got someone too good for you already..you dont want..you want "something new" zzzz.... duno how to appriciate...when he/she leaves you...then only u cry like a .....IDK...

For some people....they hide their flaws...to be with their friends.... What for o? you are sked that they will hate you for your flaws? Then their are not your friends already lar... everybody has flaws ok...zzz...if u dun hav 1..you're not even human... For me...i take the chance to show all my flaws...sometimes i even overshow...show those flaws that dun hav in me....i want to see who are my true friends.... if you can take the "worst me" then you're my real friend...coz actually i m not that worst la...just i add on my flaws to see anybody out there that is real to me...:)

i know already 1...i write this blog..sure got people will beh song... What can i say...true friends tell the TRUTH...and truth are not meant to be music to your ears....zzz

I write this blog base on my understanding....if we are not on the same page...then thats not my problem..:)

peace out!

sick

shit man...sick...got the whole package...flu...fever..sore throat... I m just dayum lucky... Well thats what you get for walking under the rain for 2 days.... Actually its quite nice though...xD...walking in the rain...makes you think of stuffs....lol..just joking...actually its kinda romantic walking alone... but its better if you have a friend walking with you la... a friend that can chat any kind of stuffs....and won't backstab you back.... which is really shitty

Finally relieved....because now i know the requirements for degree in IT.....i asked information center...they said at least need to pass.... Getting in is no problem...coping with the sylabus is a problem only....if i can do it then its no problem....:)....relieved that i dunid to retake....

So long didnt blog already lo....cant find a good topic to blog....not emo nowdays...how to blog...haha...which is good....i emo i waste time...might as well go play game...

I know myself very much de....these days i game alot...hard to control myself....but how also must control abit...i keep saying to myself... But it doesn't help...i got resit this friday...n i haven study...sien....need to study tomorrow onwards....#hopemywishcomestrue...

IDK....suddenly i have a feeling of how lucky i am... Being blessed with so many things and i still want to FML? Tak Payah la...and other individuals outside also...must learn how to appreciate what God gave you... Have you ever imagine if God didnt give u a set of eyes? God gives you face, nice body.....but takes away your eyesight... Would you exchange with them? What if you don't have a chance? Do you know how lucky is it to have a set of eyes? I m not in the position to speak la..since i have vision.... But i know its scary to lose your eyes... Imagine you can't see the ones you love, your friends, etc... Same goes to voice... As you know, i talk damn alot...and if suddenly God takes away my voice...i don't know how m i gonna accept that fact for the rest of my lives... Cant speak means you cant express your feelings and what you opinions... I mean you can, but its alot harder to use sign language all those...

Imagine that you want to say something...you're so used to talking...and when suddenly you can't talk...how u gonna express your feelings? Its very suffering....you can't say the three letter words to the one you love... But actually that doesnt really matter rite? :)

LOL...seriously duno what thing to post...not emo anymore...LOL!

+_+

Had 2 awesome days of my life...

Yesterday my extended family gave me a surprise party...at that time i really don't know how to react.... This is the first time i got a surprise from my friend.... Usually i so-called celebrate with my family? Which is so damn boring n pointless i guess? Didn't believe that my extended family would stay back to celebrate with me...their class ends at 3.15 i guess? and they waited until my class end... Words cant describe my feeling... Brenda tweeted that i got no reaction....haha...its because i tak tau how to react...takkan want me cry right? :P One friend even went to pyramid today just to buy me a slice of cake...which i really didnt expect.... The cakes that i eat this year has more meaning and are the best cake that i've ever tasted

After that went home n stone... After dinner...randomly my mom asked why today so late go home.... I said celebrate birthday la...she asked why your friends so many birthday 1....HELLO...there's no rule saying that my friends cant have many birthdays....zzz... Then i told her its my birthday celebration...zzz...And she said that i keep go out la this la that la... And said i cannot go out already....i was like wtf...so now you're reducing the times i spent with my friends? This freaking timetable is already crappy enough...and now i cant go on outings? Eff.... You can do anything to me...but don't do things that relate to my friends...you involve them...you die... After that was damn pissed...so wanted to use the laptop.... My mom was holding it since she just finished using and was watching TV... I went and take the laptop...she dun wan give...she pull back... So i just pull la from her....don't need give face to her 1.... She dominate too much already.... So i just pulled...and walk up straight to my room.... In your face ! Later chat with eric about it...he said that i still can put smiley face even when i m pissed...:)

I m glad that I always have my awesome friends with me.... When i m down...they will always be there for me.... ( ok seriously i m bad in acting....saw something on facebook and now i no mood to blog already)

I think i should learn william though....He have a headphone over his head everytime....and listens to emo songs when he is emo....At least for that few minutes he is in his own world... For me...only rap or rnb music can take her off my mind for a while... Everytime thought of her...my mood really can change 360 degree... Until i put on my headphone only she will be off my mind.... My friends call me to do some other things to get her off my mind... If i can i early already do la.... :) But i know that this method only can be used temporary....it can be used forever...i still need to find a solution to get my ass out of this shit....

cant wait for my hair to grow long...gonna do something new to my head...gonna make a big difference in my life

I m bad at lying...its too hard to tell a lie that you're ok when you're not....:)

BTW..thanks to all who wished me...:)

Peace out

zzzz life

Made a video about the times we had as an extended family...Well...the xpiry date is gonna be in another 10 more weeks or less? Then we will all be separated.... Making the video....even the computer so beh song me...so many technical problems...Until i have to find other alternative ways to finish the video...At this kind of time...Windows...Seriously? Do you hate me so much... Is the video nice? Because of this video making...duno i emo for how many days already... Finding pics is easier than putting all the pictures together... Blindly looking at the fun times we had...knowing its gonna end soon...and i can't do anything about it..sucks! For the third semester...i scared later while i m doing the vid i will cut myself n die in front of the computer...LOL

This is the vid i made...enjoy

The day before i take the timetable...seriously prayed to god that i get a nice nice timetable...but when i got the timetable...WTH man...zzzz....Thanks god..thanks.....Start the third sem for a few days and i feel that it sucks already... How m i gonna continue for the whole semester? Thanks to my computer science subject...now seriously is 100% separated from my friends... I think...well nvm ba...its already so dead...i cant change anything... Haiz...the first class in malaysian studies...already have an asshole lecturer...zzz...first day he already made me bom him in front of so many ppl... He suggested that our class go on lawatan sambil belajar...thats what made me f-ing pissed...I told him that whats the fucking point of going if all of us will be in our own gangs....We wont socialize at all...ZZZ.....Ever since I took my timetable...like everything goes so not according to plan... Everything is like going against me...WTH man..gime a break! In class is like freaking #foreveralone man... Now everyday in class...sit alone...you guys know how damn boring is it? Other people who say their class sucks! Think again man! WHOSE CLASS LAGI SUCK! I told my friend...at least you guys are in the same class together leh... He/She dun appriciate it! You guys come try being alone in 1 class lo....see whats the feeling...talk so much... Damn freaking sien...

Yesterday found out that i failed my maths...the feeling of fear is not there... Like in the first semester...i fail 1 subject...like very scared and nervous...but this semester...that feeling is gone already.... I dun feel scared no more... My feeling is like fail then fail lo...retake la.... I miss the feeling back in sem 1...at least i have a direction and know the fear of failing... This sem...haiz...not scared of failing already...There's no more common sense in me anymore...Can somebody know some sense out of me? I really like bo rasa already... Owh well...my timetable already suck this bad...what could be worst right? Add 1 more subject only ma... I think if i fail other subjects...i wun show any reaction already...Whats that to show? My mood already is like that...sien...

Now i understand why I m so afraid that i close my eyes today...and wont be able to open them up the next day...because i have my friends all...and the person i cherish...I wonder...if i didnt have them...i might lost interest in living... Maybe thats what that keeps me alive for so long...HMM...problems?

Imma failure...ZZZ

Peace out